Top Ten Tuesday: Fictional Character Death Match!

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by the lovelies at The Broke and the Bookish. 

This week's Top Ten Tuesday was meant to be, “Top Ten Authors I'd Like To See On A Reality Show.” However, I've decided to go a bit off-tangent and instead suggest ten literary characters I'd like to see on a reality TV show, if the show was The Hunger Games?

In essence, which ten characters would I enjoy watching fight to the death? Now, I don't just hate every character on this list. It wouldn't be a good show if people didn't care who won! So, I've tried to  choose characters I hated (some I enjoyed hating, some just pissed me off), and characters I like! That way I'd get to enjoy watching the whiners bite the big one, while agonising over the deaths of some of my favourite literary heroes!

The Tributes

Harry Potter 

From the Harry Potter series, by JK Rowling

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: Wand

Despite Daniel Radcliffe doing his very best to ruin this character for me, in the books I loved Harry. Even when he had a few muppety moments, that was fine because being a teenager is the best excuse anyone could have for being a bit whiny at times! 

Harry, with his magic, his determination and his “goodness” would be interesting to watch in a situation where he'd have to be ruthless and selfish. 

Esther Greenwood 

From The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: Umm... a typewriter? 

I couldn't stand this character! It's possible (hell, probable) that she would save the tributes a chore and just wander into a lake or jump of something tall. However, I'd rather see Katniss put an arrow through her eye! 

Roland Deschain 

From The Dark Tower series, by Stephen King

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: Pistols

I'm a little bit in love with Roland Deschain, even though he could sometimes be selfish and ruthless, he was just so damn cool in these books! I love the idea of him facing off against Harry Potter or Penny! Could their magical talents be faster than his gun hand...? I'm not so sure!

Frodo Baggins

From The Lord of the Rings, by JRR Tolkien

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: The One Ring

While The Lord of the Rings will always be one of my favourite books, Frodo will forever be one of my least favourite characters. Sam was so much more awesome than Frodo. He literally had to carry him! The only chance Frodo might have would be if he could get his hands on The Ring, which would be in the cornucopia at the start of the games... And let's face it, there's no way Frodo would survive the blood bath!

Mrs Coulter (and her daemon)

From His Dark Materials series, by Philip Pullman

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: Lipstick 

Everybody loved hating this bitch! That creepy, voiceless golden monkey gave me chills. Even though Mrs. Coulter has no “special” powers, I imagine she could manipulate some of the other contestants into forming an alliance with her. That would be just her style! Ultimately though, I'd hope that one of the others would beat her to a soggy pulp. 

Bella Swan

From the Twilight series, by Stephenie Meyer

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: Edward's venom

Bella would probably just curl up and die at the thought of being away from Edward for five effing minutes. Seriously, woman, get a grip! Her clumsiness would more than likely result in her falling on her ass and being torn apart. On the other hand, maybe she and Bridget Jones could get together and bore the other contestants to death with their endless natter about how important it is to have a boyfriend. 

If she got her hands on Eddie's vampire venom then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be a pathetic waste of space for the entire games. 

Katniss Everdean 

From The Hunger Games series, by Suzanne Collins

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: Bow and Arrows

She only had her determination, intelligence and bow & arrow at her disposal, but Katniss still kicked ass. I loved her as a character and would love her to literally kick Bella Swan's ass! Katniss is what a strong female protagonist should be. 

Penny 

From Fear, by Michael Grant

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: None Needed

Slightly less well known than the others, Penny has the ability to make people experience their worst fears as hallucinations. In “Fear” she makes another character eat the tendons from his own arm by making him think they are strings of red rope liquorice. Now that's evil. I wonder what she'd make the other characters see? She's almost like a human boggart, so maybe Harry could be the one to take this bitch down to China town...?

Harrison Bergeron

From Harrison Bergeron, by Kurt Vonnegut 

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: None Needed

The eponymous hero of Harrison Bergeron is the physical embodiment of how a person can rise up above any disadvantages used to weigh them down. His height, strength and rebellious nature would make him an interesting tribute. His physical attributes would also mean that he probably wouldn't need a weapon from the cornucopia too!

Bridget Jones 

From Bridget Jones's Diary, by Helen Fielding

Weapon to retrieve from the cornucopia: I don't know: a pack of cigarettes..?

Here's another one I want to see pulverised. Bridget Jones would probably end up falling in love with Roland Deschain and stressing about whether she was too chubby to ever be loved by him. Then he'd shoot her in the face and I'd smile. 

So what do you think of the tribute list? I'd love to hear your own ideas about who else to put on the tribute list, who might win, who'd die first and who'd die most excruciatingly! I don't know about you, but I'd pay good money to see these games! He he he. 

Hope you enjoyed the list! I certainly had fun coming up with it! Lx

Top Ten Tuesdays - Top 10 Short Stories.

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by the lovelies at The Broke and the Bookish. 

This week’s Top Ten theme is: Top Ten X Genre Books, and we were meant to pick our own themes. Now, y'all by now know that I grow a bit weak at the knees pretty much every time Stephen King even looks at a pen and paper. 

At first, I got to thinking about how I might make this top 10 a countdown of my favourite SK books. But then I remembered that I am indecisive and would never be able to choose which of his books is my favourite. I'd want to say The Stand, but then I'd remember It and then The Talisman would spring to mind... argh! 

And then it occurred to me that I'd have to put at least one of his books of short stories on the list. Because SK might well be the master of the horror novel (and I'd argue that his books are literature that's scary, not "horrorbooks" to be sneered at by people who think modern literature can only be found on the Oprah or Richard and Judy books lists... *tries to get on a high horse but falls off due to poor coordination*)

And then (I'm meandering towards the point, promise) I got to thinking about short stories in general. What would my top ten be? Short stories aren't nearly as common as they used to be, though it's been nice to see a few more books of them popping up recently, particularly in the YA markets. It seemed like a nice idea to come up with a top ten list of my favourite short stories. The ones in the public domain I've linked to. Enjoy, and DEFINITELY share your own favourites in the comments. I'm always looking for a great new short story.

My Top Ten Short Stories

Shaving 

From: Sliding, Short Stories by Leslie Norris.

Shaving is a touching story about the relationship between father and son. It's about how roles reverse as parents get old while their children get strong. It's a beautiful piece. The link will take you to a teaching resource I used to use. 

This is a story I used for teaching. Leslie Norris was a prize winning Welsh poet and short story writer, and here in Wales we have to make sure we celebrate our Welshiness in class. It's part of the curriculum so Cymru am byth!

Autopsy Room Four

From: Everything's Eventual by Stephen King

Bloody hell. This is one of those stories that really captures one of the most primitive fears of humanity: being buried alive. Well, not buried, but as the title suggests, being taken for autopsy. 

Howard Cotrell, the protagonist, wakes up to find himself in Autopsy Room Four, but he's completely paralysed and therefore unable to tell the doctors there that he's not dead. 

I read this with wide, horrified eyes and a sort of exhilirated morbid fascination. It's both dreadful and terribly funny. 

The Lottery

From: The Lottery and Other Stories by Shirley Jackson

If Stephen King is the Master of horror, then Jackson is the Mistress, or maybe I should say she's the Mother... after all her works acted as a nurturing influence to King, and others such as Neil Gaiman and Richard Matheson. 

She wrote a whole bunch of awesomeness but The Lottery was the first thing I ever read of hers back when I was about nine or ten. I never forgot it. There was something about it which resonated with me. Maybe because it reminded me of my home town: normal on the surface but sometimes dark and icky underneath. Hell, I guess that's most towns. That's why it's such a powerful story. 

It's a shame we don't hear more about Shirley Jackson in UK schools. Her short stories are the perfect fodder for inspiring pupils to read. Nobody can resist the chills she offers. 

Chattery Teeth 

From: Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King 

If any of you are Brits, then you might remember the days when BBC2 used to show horror movies back to back at midnight. I used to LOVE these horror marathons. They introduced me to so many brilliant (and, in some cases, brilliantly cheesy) movies. One of the cheesiest and most fun was Quicksilver Highway and I came upon it completely by accident. 

One of the horror marathons had Stephen King's Pet Sematary as the second feature. I'd never seen it before but the first feature (I forget what it was) had been a long one. I was ready for bed. These were the days of VCRs and long-play tapes. 

When I came to watch Pet Sematary, I was pleased. It was creepy, the kid gave me chills, I got to chuckle at Fred Gwynne (you might know him as Herman Munster) say "Don't take that road" (pronounced, "Dahn't tehk thaht rahd"), or something along those lines, and best of all, Lt Sasha Yar (Denise Crosby to non-geeks) dies. Brilliant! 

Far more brilliant was the beauty of the long-play tape. Not only had it recorded the movie I'd wanted, but also that which had followed: Quicksilver Highway. This wonderful piece of stilton is a comprised of two one-hour adaptations. The first of which was Chattery Teeth, by Stephen King. The adaptation is pure cheese, but the audio reading by Kathy Bates is pure awesomesocks (I've invented this word. Take it, share it like it was Captain Trips). Stephen King + Kathy Bates = stuff I'm gonna like. 

It occurs to me that I should perhaps reconsider this story as one of my favourites, as it is entirely responsible for me making a total arse of myself when I got to meet Stephen King a few years ago. If you fancy a cringe, read about that here.

The Body Politic

From: Books of Blood by Clive Barker

The second half of Quicksilver Highway was an adaptation of Clive Barker's The Body Politic, a story in which a man's hands rebel against his own body. Clive barker is another who can relied upon to creep your socks off. 

The Yattering and Jack

by Clive Barker

Oo...as a bonus entry I'm going to add another Clive Barker to the list here, though It might be cheating a little as it's a graphic novel called The Yattering and Jack. I found this book in the attic or my parents' house years ago. It was the first GN I ever read and I should not have read it alone in the attic. Attics are creepy at the best of times...

A Terribly Strange Bed

by Wilkie Collins

Back when I was a wee 15 year old, just starting out on the road to GCSEs, I had to study and write short stories as a part of my coursework. The first short story we were given as a class was this one. I don't remember the other, though everyone else in the class preferred it because it was a more recent piece. Maybe I did too, at the time, but it's Collins' piece that stuck with me. The situation and the pace are just brilliant. Click the title and go and have a read!

The End of the Whole Mess

From: Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King

I know, I know... but I'm a fan, okay?! And King really knows how to pack a punch with his short stories. I've not written this list in any kind of order, but if I had, this would've been at least in the top three I think. You can get this on audio, read by Matthew Broderick. He does a great job, but this really is a story that you have to see written to experience the full impact. 

The story is a first person epistolary piece from the perspective of Howard Forney. The journal details the promise and the resultant disaster of Howard's brother, Bobby. Bobby is a genius who has found a cure for hostility... but the chemical compound leads to more than just peace. 

The Masque of the Red Death

by Edgar Allan Poe

Come on. A list of great short stories wouldn't be complete without this fella, would it?! I first encountered this story as another of those BBC2 movie doubles back in the day. It wasn't a great adaptation, but it did have Vincent Price, who was awesome. 

After seeing the film, I read the short story and loved it. While I think there are many better Poe short stories, and even better poems, The Masque of the Red Death was my first time with Poe, so it has a special place in my heart!

1408

From: Everything's Eventual by Stephen King

A nice little segue from Poe, a character played by John Cusack in The Raven, to 1408, the adaptation of which Cusack starred in. Nice. 

I first encountered this short story not in it's finished form, but as a work-in-progress in Stephen King's On Writing. In this amazing book, half how-to guide, half memoir, King demonstrates how he uses the formula:

Finished Draft = First Draft - 10%

When I came across 1408 in Everything's Eventual, it was nice to see it again, after witnessing it's initial circumcision of adverbs. 

It's not a whole bunch like the movie as King leaves a lot of the horror unseen, allowing your imagination to go into overdrive and imagine the very worst. I enjoyed the movie, though. Probably because I'm a little bit in love with John Cusack and have been ever since I saw him in The Sure Thing. 

So there you have it. Ten short stories and my reasons why. I know there are a lot of King stories on there, but not undeservedly so. If you have a chance, click on the titles of the ones which aren't King, as most of them are public domain so you'll be linked to where you can read the stories. I guarantee you a great read. 

Love and peaceful reading.

L x

Top Ten Books That Broke Your Heart A Little

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by the lovelies at The Broke and the Bookish.

This week's Top Ten theme is: Top Ten Books That Broke Your Heart A Little

This week's topic is a little difficult to post about as I really don't want to post any spoilers. Theredore, I've decided to just post a sentence or two about each. I'll do my VERY best not to give anything away!

The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

This is the third book in the His Dark Materials trilogy. I wept like a baby at the end and every time I read it I wish and wish for... well, I suppose I can't say, can I? Go read the trilogu for yourself and find out what I mean. 

Before I Die by Jenny Downham 

You know from the beginning of this book what's coming, and still it breaks your heart. This is beautifully written book which is completely, agonisingly wonderful. 

Watership Down by Richard Adams

You wouldn't think a book about bunnies could be so compelling, but this one really is. It's charming and lovely and sad. If you're looking for another powerful tale of hard-done-by rabbits, try The Book Of Bunny Suicides, by Andy Riley.

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

This is another beautifully-written, tragic book that broke my heart repeatedly. Sebold's imagery is vibrant and her narrative is driven by excellently created characters. 

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Death himself narrates this book and he warns you, he bloody-well-warns you what's going to happen. And you think maybe he's trying to fool you...

Monsters of Men by Patrick Ness

This is a trilogy I can't recommend highly enough. While it mdoesn't seem to be as well known or as widely lauded as some series, I honestly think it's one of the best out there. Comparable even to HIs Dark Materials.

Romeo and Juliet - Shakespeare

Okay, okay, so it's a bit obvious. But I don't care! I've read this play a bazillion times and taught it a bazillion more. And every single time I wish that things could've turned out a little better for the poor, eponymous characters. 

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - John Boyne

This is another book I've had to teach several times and which has stood the test of teaching. Who can fail to be moved by the tragedy of this tale, and of the truth that inspired it?

The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks

You won't hear my say this very often at all. Such incidences are so rare as to be almost non existent. Here goes: "I preferred the film." 

*awaits a tumult of abuse* 

I'm sure plenty of you will disagree with me and I'm not trying to deride the book in any way, it's on the list isn't it? I just think that the chemistry between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in the film, really added something. That's not to say that I didn't bawl my eyes out when I read the book, just like I did when I watched the film, though!

Entangled - Cat Clarke

This is one of those books that I finished with my mouth agape and an expression of indignant horror on my face. How could an author be so cruel?! How could Cat Clarke perpetrate such evils?! She broke my heart with this one...and ensured that I'll buy pretty much everything else she ever writes. 

So there you have it. The top ten books which broke my heart a little. I think it's worth adding at this point that I was tempted to put Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer and Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling on this list. They, however, broke my heart for different reasons. That was the heartbreak one feels when something they've loved for so long finally ends. Even happy ending can be heartbreaking.

Let me know your thoughts!

Lx

Top Ten Books You'd Hand To Someone Who Says They Don't Like To Read

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by the lovelies at The Broke and the Bookish. 

This week’s Top Ten theme is: Top Ten Books You'd Hand To Someone Who Says They Don't Like To Read

I've decided to break this down into male and female categories as, particularly as earlier on in our reading lives, gender really can matter. However, saying that I've read every book on this list, I'm a girl and I loved them all! Otherwise, why would I recommend them to others? Still, I'm not a reluctant reader, I'm more reluctant to put down the book and get back to the real world! So! Here  are the lists. I'm keeping it simple this week, so just click on the Title of the book to link right over to Goodreads if you want their info after reading my comments. 

For The Boys

The list begins with recommendations for younger readers and moves up the age-groups. 

The Twits

By Roald Dahl

This is a book I read when I was little and I loved it. My brother and I used to laugh at the pictures of food trapped in Mr Twit's beard. So gross, it's a winner for any little monster!

Harry Potter

By J K Rowling

Face it: this was always going on the list. Surely it'll be on almost all the lists linked to the meme! These books are wonderful and I grew up with them in lots of ways. I read the first when I was meant to be doing science homework, and the final one while I was a growed up. 

The Yearbook

By Peter Lerangis

I was a huge fan of the Point Horror series when I was in primary school and this is one of the ones I remember most fondly. I keep meaning to find myself an old copy as I gave mine to a real-life reluctant reader and he loved it so much I let him keep it. Face-palming myself for my charitable nature!

The Enemy

By Charlie Higson

A book where all adults are "sickos" and the kids have to survive in the London that was. This book and its sequels are like a more vicious Lord of the Flies. Oo... I should've put that on the list too! 

Gone

By Michael Grant

Another book where all the adults disappear. I'm sensing a theme here. In Gone, everyone over the age of fifteen suddenly vanishes, leaving all the kids to pick up the pieces. The spanner in the works is that some of these remaining kids have developed bizarre mutations... This is Lord of the Flies (damn it, there it is again! It's an unofficial part of the list now!) meet X-Men.

The Hobbit

By J R R Tolkien

I must have read this at least twenty times and probably many more than that. It might seem a little hard going for reluctant readers, but my brother and I both read it when we were kids and we both did so in one sitting. I swallow books whole but my big bro didn't so that's quite an accolade for this one. 

Chain Letter

By Christopher Pike

My Christopher Pike phase took over from my Point Horror Phase when I started in Comprehensive School. This is one that my brother loved and he literally made me read it after him just so he could talk to me about it. It kicked off a love for Pike's work which has followed me through my reading life. 

The Travelling Vampire Show

By Richard Laymon

Laymon is good at mixing scary and sexy. So no doubt teenage boys might get into this. I loved it when I was a teenager and my sister has recently read and loved it. There's a lot of bloodlust so for older teens definitely. [Note: I read this when it was released in 2000, so I was fifteen when I read it. I'm relatively sane...]

Twilight Eyes

By Richard Laymon

This book follows a seventeen year old drifter who can see the demons that are hiding in human skin all around us. Adventure, violence, a wee bit of nudity and a compelling narrative. Another great one for the lads. 

When the Lion Feeds

By Wilbur Smith

I love nature and I don't agree with hunting for sport... except for when I pick up books by Wilbur Smith. He makes me want to hunt lions and elephants; he makes me want to sail the seas with only maggoty fare to eat; he makes me want to learn how to fire a musket! He captures his audience and brings them into his world. To this day I don't know whether I want to be Sean Courtney, or to be his good woman! I know! 

For The Girls

The list begins with recommendations for younger readers and moves up the age-groups. 

Ramona the Brave

By Alice Sheff

I read this when I was really little and oh God how I loved Ramona! She was always getting into mischief and always coming out the other end as a good and clever girl. And she used to write notes to her mum whenever she had something important to discuss, just like I did! If I ever have a daughter, this will be one of the first books on her shelf.

Harry Potter

By J K Rowling

It had to make the list for girls too!

Matilda

By Roald Dahl

I wanted to be Matilda when I was little. Hell, I kind if want to be her now! I was an avid reader but, gosh darn it, my parents were lovely and attentive. If they'd been horrible maybe I could've developed the cool telekinesis! 

Malory Towers

By Enid Blyton

My mother made the mistake of buying me the first of these one day while we were out shopping one day. We went home, I read the book without looking away from the pages once, and I had to drag her back to the shops to buy me the next...and the next...and so on. I'm sure real British boarding schools house girls who experience the awkwardness of puberty, but I liked Blyton's shiny imaginings just fine!

The Hunger Games

By Suzanne Collins

I think this could easily be on a list of reading for guys too, as it's not typically "girly" at all. It simply has a female protagonist who kicks ass in a Battle Royal sort of scenario. I loved these books! I have these on audiobook and have listened to the series twice!

Twilight

By Stephenie Meyer

Since the books were adapted into film, it's become popular to slam them. But I read these books in one sitting each and loved them. Maybe when anything gets big enough people try to topple it... Say what you will, I've taught many a teenage girl who was converted into a reader because of these books. 

The Lovely Bones

By Alice Sebold

This book was absolutely beautiful It's unpredictable and dark and it drags you under. It's almost poetry in places! 

Carrie

By Stephen King

Not every girl has a mother who's so devout that making a hot-dog is sinful; not every girl has powers of telekinesis; not every girl is brutally bullied. And yet, every girl will feel for Carrie. You'll hate her and pity her all while wishing fervently that she'll manage to get out from under everything that holds her down. King's first published work is a must! 

Whisper of Death

By Christopher Pike

Christopher Pike should be more lauded than he is. He did some of the best vampire books years ago, before Buffy started the wheels spinning on making them popular. He did the Greek god thing, the reincarnation thing, the homicidal maniac thing. Seriously, he's bloody brilliant and I'm glad he's having a bit of a reprint at the mo. I'm going to collect up all those books I loved as a teenager! Anyhow, he also did the "everyone's vanished how are we going to survive?" thing in this book. I gave my copy of this book to one of the most difficult pupils I ever taught and she loved it. I'd heard her curse my name a dozen times, but the one thank you she said when she read and loved the book cancelled all that out.

Before I Die

By Jenny Downham

You'll cry. A lot. You'll cry so much that you won't be able to read the words any more. And you'll rub mascara into your sleeve without hesitation just so those words become clear again and you can keep reading. No book before or since has ever made me cry so bitterly or so beautifully. 

So! There are the lists. Two for the price of one just because I suck at being selective. I hope you get ideas for your own reluctant readers from this! Let me know your thoughts as always, especially if you have more to add!

Lx