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Showing posts with label Writing Prompts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing Prompts. Show all posts

I need a Hero!

Before I get to the point, take a look at this!



Right. Now that I've shared that joy with you, I have a question to ask you!

Most of you know I'm a teacher. I like to think I'm pretty good at it though I'm pretty sure whole bunches of my pupils will disagree. However, being a dedicated sort, I like to go that extra mile to make my lessons interesting and entertaining. Oo! I'm so inventing the portmanteau word "intertaining". That's brilliant! 

Ahem...anyway! What I'm looking for from you lovely people is simple. I want you to answer this question:

WHO IS YOUR HERO AND WHY?

Post your answers below. Links to a picture would be GREATLY appreciated. Your hero might be factual, fictional, silly or serious. You'll not only be helping me, but thirty-one GCSE pupils! So thanks in advance.

Lx

My brain feels mushy... mini-giveaway!


I've not posted anything in over a week and for this I feel I need to apologise. The above image is my explanation for the lack of postage. I don't literally think there are Gummi Bears chewing on my brain...but something certainly seems to have taken a chomp out of it! I'm having one of those weeks were my focus is frazzled, my concentration is kaput, and my alliteration is alarming. Okay...so that last one was technically assonance, but who cares, right?

I have options. I could craft something. I could review. I could read. I could play a game. I could write. I should write! I could watch a movie. I could take Rikku for another walk. I could clean my house. I definitely should clean my house... I could do one of a million things. Maybe it's all the choice that's making is so difficult to relax? Because I have so many options and, by nature, suck at making decisions, I inevitably decide to have a nap or something lame instead! 

So, instead of posting one of the bazillion reviews that I should be writing, I thought I'd ask you all a question!  What to you do when you feel like you can't quite settle to do anything? Any sage advice or witty wisdom? How do I get these damned gummi bears out of my brain?!

Whoever posts my favourite piece of advice will receive a book from their wishlist! So get thinking!

Lx

[P.S. I'll announce the winner at midday on Sunday, GMT]

Top Three Pet Peeves of the Week!

Top Peeve #1 - The belittling of YA

This week has been one of debate in the YA lit world. Ever since M.C. Gurdon published her post, "Darkness Too Visible" in The Wall Street Journal, YA writers, readers and bloggers have been expressing their fury at having their favourite works demeaned. 

For those of you who didn't read the article, here it is in all of its ignorant glory. 

Now on one level, I do think that some YA lit is dark. I think there has been an increase in the more mature content. I just don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I think it simply reflects the fact that teenagers today are a hell of a lot more grown up than they were a few decades ago. 

How I feel about the article can be best summed up by a comment I posted in a Figment Forum a few days ago:

I've been commenting on this on blogs all morning, and my rage continues unabated! In a world where there is plenty of adult fiction which asks whether or not "my bum looks big in this", YA literature (and yes, I consider a lot of it literature), focuses on how to make the right choices, how to cope with sometimes harsh reality, and sometimes even the bigger stuff, like battles between good and evil!
When did these questions ever become valueless?
People seem so willing to belittle not just the YA genre, but the audience itself. Why is it assumed that young adults can't deal with "dark" realities?
I know some people would argue that the paranormal aspects of the YA genre are hardly realistic, but then Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" was seen as an allegory, Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is seen as literature representative of its time... paranormal doesn't translate as hacky!
Sylvia Plath (and I don't mean to disparage her work here either...) is seen as a classic author, and her work was dark with self pitying characters. In so much modern YA lit, the "dark" realities are coped with with a strength than is not witnessed in "The Bell Jar", yet that is an A Level text!
Perhaps Gurdon was hoping that youngsters would survive on a steadfast diet of Blyton and Dahl until they turned 20? I grew up with these authors and they have a special place in my heart... but please! "Malory Towers" is one of my favourite series from childhood, but even back then I understood that it was weird for 300 (all white) girls to live together without any cases of wild partying or same-sex interaction. Puberty isn't even touched upon! Statistically speaking, 18 of 300 girls would be either gay or bisexual, but I don't think Darrell Rivers ever had to even buy a bra or cope with PMT! To me, THAT is a "hideously distorted" portrayal of reality. To me, that's not reality at all!
Does Gurdon think that books were better when there was no sign of real, practical situations? No diversity? No moral problems? No questions which couldn't be answered without a Bible and a cup of tea?
What Gurdon considers "hideously distorted portrayals", young adults (hey, ALL of us) might be able to identify as the murky waters of deciding what kinds of people we want to be, what kind of life we want to live. Questions of identity are never crystal clear, and I think that the YA genre provides the comfort of relatable characters in situations that we can all empathise with.
*Takes a deep breath*
Okay. Rant over!

Pet Peeve #2 - People who see statistics instead of people.
My favourite thing about being a secondary school English teacher is the interaction it allows me to have with the bright young minds of the future. I get to help young readers to see the joy that is to be had in disseminating a text and savouring every morsel of language that has been used to weave literary masterpieces. I get to spend time with my writing clubs and marvel at how elegantly the people who attend can manipulate lexis and syntax to sculpt some rather wonderful pieces of writing. 
I really, truly enjoy that aspect of my job. I hate it when adults behave like anyone under 21 is somehow less significant than themselves. Doesn't everyone deserve respect, no matter how old they are? 

Pet Peeve #3 - £$£$£
Oh my god, I just don't care about money. This is probably why I never have any. Yes, money is necessary, yes it means I can buy books. But if another person talks at me about how much their earning or spending on this, that and the other, I may go insane. 
Your shoes cost more than £100? Why did I need to know that? That crappy piece of information has just made me forget something interesting, I bet...
You holiday in the Bahamas every year? Really? Could you maybe just not come back this year...?
You pay how much on this, that and whatever every month? Why don't you just say "Ooo look what I can afford! This means I'm all posh and better than everyone else!" Here's some news, you aren't You might be slightly more annoying though!

Ahhhhh... sharing is definitely good for the soul! What has irritated you this week? Do you feel the same about my pet peeves, or are you peeved at my whining? Either way, I'd love to know your TOP THREE PET PEEVES OF THE WEEK. 
Post in the comments!
Lx

The Superpower Question!

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it? You are NOT allowed to "have the power to have all powers", so don't try and be all sneaky about it!

My chosen power is... INVISIBILITY!


THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE INVISIBLE. 



- Poke an irksome acquaintance in the face until they go insane.
- Pretend I'm a "voice" and whisper bad (but funny) ideas in the Queen's ears.
- Pretend I'm the voice of God, visit the Pope and tell him he looks good in a dress.
- Write "your fly is undone" on fogged up glass in public places.
- Sing (badly) into the mic on an empty stage in a busy bar.
- Trip up "posers" as they walk down the street.
- Continually turn someone's TV to the Bible channel.
- Yell "He IS the Kwizats Hadderach!" at a kid's Christening.
- Carry a penguin around under my arm to make people think they could fly all along.
- Do the above with other animals...particularly household pets.
- Wear a sheet and be a ghost.
- Spy on people I hate and use the gathered information against them. Mwahahahaha!
- Infiltrate and Area 51.
- Go on free flights.
- Never pay for another cinema ticket.
- Confuse the automatic doors that run on pressure sensors.
- Stow away in Johnny Depp's shower...he he he.
- Read top secret government files.
- Convince kids in toy stores that I am a possessed teddy bear.



Once again, your question this week is: If you could have any superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it?

Hoping for some funny comments for this one! =D

Lx

What turns you into a big old scaredy cat?

I have weird phobias. Show me a snake and I'm fine. Put a big, fluffy-legged spider in my hand and I'll probably think it's cute. Ask me to jump out of a plane (with parachute, silly) and I'm game! Tell me there's ghosties and ghoulies and long-leggedy-beasties and I'll grab my camera and meet you at the graveyard, no need for a Scoobie-Snack or anything!

No...the things I'm scared of are seriously terrifying things.
  1. Cold baked bean juice - Oh God, just typing it makes me gag in horror. 
  2. Slugs - I like snails though... weird, eh?
  3. Mould - Off milk, furry food, spores. I turn into a girly-girl and run away. 
Does anyone else have bizarre things which make their knees turn to jelly and their belly do backflips? Or I'm I the only mad-hatter in the house?

Lx


Thanks to Reuben for saving me from the milk in the Writing Club. I may have died had you not saved the day!]

Hey! It's Hay!

I have both lived in Wales and been a serious book lover for my 26 years. And yet today was the first time I ever managed to make it to the Hay on Wye festival. I know. It's shameful. So as my half term happily coincides with the festival, I determined that this week I would make it to the event, come hell or high water. 

Well hell couldn't make it and the high waters were busy. I did however catch myself a horrible cold which has put me hopelessly behind in my report-writing/marking schedule. When I woke up this morning I was already making excuses in my head as to why I shouldn't go to Hay.

I should be marking.
I should be reporting.
I should be editing.
I should be cleaning my house.
I should be mowing my lawn.
I should be having no fun...

TBH (The Better Half) convinced me that I would be mad at myself for sabotaging my own enjoyment and sent me on my way. I bundled up some Kleenex, grabbed my sunglasses and set off.

This is where the "Numbers" part of my "Numbers Thursday" post comes into play... AA Route Planner told me that Hay on Wye was 58 minutes from my front step. Well...I'm really bad at following directions. It was 150 minutes later that I parked up in the Hay on Wye Festival car park. Like I said...really bad with directions! However, I didn't really mind the delay as I was listening to Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins on audio-book while I drove in circles around the beautiful Welsh countryside. Not a bad way to spend two and a half hours!

The Festival was amazing! I tried my hand at sculpting, watched a bunch of musicians, tried (very unsuccessfully) to learn to juggle, made a "journey stick", did some calligraphy and saw some bizarre magical acts performed with a bowler-hat and balloon animals. All of this was FREE! There are heaps and heaps of events that you can purchase tickets for but even more that you can enjoy gratis, should you happen to walk by at the right time! 

I had myself a whole bunch of fun in the festival itself and got myself this little memento just for buying a copy of The Telegraph. 


After having a good old wander around the tents and stalls, I caught the free shuttle-bus into Hay town. I've been to Hay on Wye during off-season before and I had a wonderful time. During festival week though, Hay transforms into a wonderland. I don't think I've ever seen so many people sat reading for pleasure in one place before! On lawns, on deck-chairs, perched on walls, hunkered on stools and, in one case, sat underneath a picnic table. People were pouring over their literary purchases with fervor under the hot June sun while dribbling ice-cream down their chins. It was a book-lover's paradise.

More numbers now. Hay on Wye: The Town of Books, has about a bazillion bookshops, as you might imagine. That's all very well... but what makes Hay exceptional  is the fact that said bookshops offer such bargains! Look at what I bought today:


Eight books. This bag-full cost me just £15. Less than £2 per book! All new, not even second hand! Here's another picture so that you can see the titles! 


*Happy Sigh*

I also picked up a Hay pen and badge for the wonderful Emma from Bookangel's Booktopia. Because I'm nice! Next year I think it would be awesome if some of the lovely book bloggers I've connected with could all pick a day in Hay where we all meet up and get to meet each other in this book-happy-paradise. That would be amazing. 

Lx



The Law of Sod.

If something can go wrong, it will. 

Thus states Sod's Law (or Murphy's Law, if you're from across the pond...). This is the law that determines that toast must fall butter-side down, that it must start to rain as you leave the hairdresser's with a dashing new do... that sort of thing.

I think every teacher in the world is familiar with this perversity of the universe. Every teacher knows that they can survive lesson after lesson, day after day, week after week of term without succumbing to the myriad bugs and illnesses that float about classrooms... And every teacher knows that on the last day of term the sniffles shall begin. 

Half term holidays must be spent in dressing gowns, cozied up to a box of mansize Kleenex while choking down rancid mouthfuls of Lemsip. For this is the Law of Sod. 

So the first part of this post is to say a big thanks to all my buddies who have done their bit to put smiles on my face this week! The second part is to ask you this:

What examples of Sod's Law can you think of? 

Comment them, please. It will make me smile... not that anyone would be able to tell that I'm smiling... there's a tissue bunged up my nose...

Lx

Get those creative juices flowing and dig out your morals.

A quickie post today just so that I can share some awesome news! Figment are hosting an amazing competition this month which I thought was exciting enough to share. 

(Details taken from the Figment website. Check out the full specs and click here to enter).


“The boy’s name was Santiago.” These are the first words of the world’s most beloved modern fable, The Alchemist. This tale follows Santiago on his quest for hidden treasure by way of one or two weird-but-secretly-very-wise people, a long trip on the back of a camel, and, most importantly, a long talk with the wind. How will your fable begin? And will you find treasure at the end of it?


There’s a big treasure to be found: Figment is giving $1,000 to the winner of our fable-writing contest, judged by none other than the king of fabulists himself: Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist. (Yes, you may start hyperventilating now.)
Your challenge is to write a fable (a short story with a moral) in less than 1200 words, set in a fictional country on the day before the final battle in a devastating war. Paulo Coelho will read the finalists and decide the winner. Which is kind of like having your poem read by Robert Frost or your play read by Arthur Miller. Which is, well, amazing.
The deadline for entries is Sunday, June 19 at 11:59pm EST. Then YOU have the power to determine the 10 finalists that go to Paulo Coelho by hearting your favorite entries. Just browse below and heart as many entries as you like. Voting will continue until Friday, July 1 at 11:59pm EST. Please read the official rules before entering. Good luck, everyone!

I'm thinking of giving this a whirl myself... I just have to find my morals and give them a good polish before I attempt to write any kind of morality tale!

Lx

Quickie 20 Questions!

Here's a quickfire quiz for you all to answer, just so that I can get to know my lovely followers a little better :)

  1. Coffee or tea?
  2. Sweet or savoury?
  3. Do you sing in the shower?
  4. Favourite pizza topping?
  5. Last book you read?
  6. Favourite alcoholic beverage?
  7. Super power of choice?
  8. Facebook or Twitter?
  9. Shoe size?
  10. Favourite computer game?
  11. Weird phobias?
  12. Any pets?
  13. Sonic or Mario?
  14. Favourite accent?
  15. Favourite ice cream flavour?
  16. Most ticklish part?
  17. Favourite word?
  18. Lucky number?
  19. Dogs or cats?
  20. Best moment of your day so far?
Can't wait to hear your answers!

Here are mine:
  1. Coffee or tea? COFFEE IN WORK, TEA AT HOME.
  2. Sweet or savoury? SWEET
  3. Do you sing in the shower? YES! 
  4. Favourite pizza topping? ANYTHING + PINEAPPLE
  5. Last book you read? PLAGUE, BY MICHAEL GRANT
  6. Favourite alcoholic beverage? JD
  7. Super power of choice? THE POWER TO HAVE ALL POWERS (or flight if we're not cheating)
  8. Facebook or Twitter? BOTH!
  9. Shoe size? 6
  10. Favourite computer game? FINAL FANTASY
  11. Weird phobias? SLUGS AND COLD BEANS=/
  12. Any pets? 1 DOG AND 2 GUINEA PIGS...(and a husband)
  13. Sonic or Mario? MARIO
  14. Favourite accent? IRISH
  15. Favourite ice cream flavour? COOKIE DOUGH
  16. Most ticklish part? KNEES 
  17. Favourite word? SQUELCH
  18. Lucky number? SIX
  19. Dogs or cats? DOGS
  20. Best moment of your day so far? RECEIVING A COPY OF "THE GODDEST TEST" IN THE MAIL...NO IDEA WHO SENT IT TO ME! 
There's me in 20 questions...now who are you? 

Lx

If your life was an audio-book, who would you want to narrate your story?

   

I've mentioned on several occasions on this blog that I'm a fairly recent convert to the amazingness of audio-books. Before I tried them, I was certain that I'd hate them. I was certain that I'd miss the voices in my own head making each character uniquely mine. 

I was wrong. 

Audio-books are amazing! Not only do you get to hear ever subtlety of the texts, but you also get to assuage the guilt of spending hours upon hours immersed in a great book, without the sitting on your arse, doing bugger-all aspect! Yes, ladies and gents, I'm actually celebrating the fact that the audio-book allows me to get on with the everyday business of life, love and laundry, without ever putting the books down! Well... life and laundry... not love. That'd just be ... ... ... weird. 

So my thinking question of the week is this:

If your life was an audio-book, who would you want to narrate your story?

I've demonstrated mine in picture form above. Kathy Bates' recording of "The Silence of the Lambs" is just phenomenally wonderful. I heart her lots. And Morgan Freeman is just the bestest narrator in the history of all stuff and things! 

What about you? Whose voice would you love to speak your story into magical reality? Get posting, lovely people!

Lx

Writing Between The Lines

Today, in my young writers' group, Scribblers, I found myself giving out some good old tried and true advice.

SHOW don't TELL

This is something I must have written a thousand times on a thousand stories since I qualified as a teacher three years ago. Today, I'd like to set an exercise for the aspiring writers out there, in the hopes that a few of you will feel all inspired and whatnot.

The Challenge.

Write a scene in which two close friends are talking. For some reason, resentment has been building between these two friends but they do not talk about it openly. You will need to communicate both the years of friendship that their relationship is built on, while also exploring this barely-concealed resentment. You must SHOW these feelings, not just say that they are there.

I would LOVE to see these scenes posted in my comments! I'll even send out a prize for my favourite one =P 

Lx

Rapturously Sinful.

In the second of today's rapture-shaped posts, I'm wondering what deliciously sinful things you might be getting up to today? You don't have to worry about the consequences, so what's on your End Of The World "To-Do" List?

You could spend the day praying, confessing and trying to sneak your way back in to the Big Fella's good graces...but where's the fun in that?!

My Recommendations.

Call up the person you have been drooling over and suggest "Going out with a bang".

Eat everything you usually avoid based on calorie count. 

Throw an End of the World barbecue in which you create wittily named cocktails and appetizers. 

Drink. A lot.

Buy a whole lot of suntan lotion so that you don't burn in the fiery pit.

Try at least one thing that you always meant to do, but never got around to. 

Comment on this just-for-funzies post so that on my last day, I'll know someone cared! :P


What is everyone else getting up to during their (supposed) last day on earth? :)

Lx

The end of the world is nigh! So pop on some music, pour yourself a drink and let's watch the fireworks :P

I've been a naughty blogger this week and managed to fall behind in posting my "Numbers Thursday" and "Playlist Friday" posts. In a moment of genius, I'm combining both posts into one, after taking some inspiration from a Twitter trend!


As you may or may not know, today is the Rapture. This is according to some random American fella who posted the news on a billboard and the back of his van... two media which I'm sure bazilion-dollar corporations are now kicking themselves for not having adopted, as Rupture-Dude has certainly drummed up a boat-load of publicity. He he he... "boat load"... get it? That reminds me...I need to build an ark before 6pm...


Anyway! Today, I'm looking for your "Rapture Playlists". If our numbers are up and we're going down, let's go down with suitably apt tunes in our heads!


Here's my Rapture Playlist so far:


I don't want to set the world on fire, by The Inkspots. 


This is the teaser trailer for Fallout 3, an awesome game set in a post-apocalyptic dystopia. I love the soundtrack to this game!




In the end, by Linkin Park.


Awesomesauce song!




The final countdown, by Europe.


Well it had to make a playlist like this, don't you think?




It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine), by R.E.M.


Duh...




So, ladies and gents! What songs make your rapture playlist? Comments please! :)


Have a nice day and I'll post again on the morrow...I hope...


Lx

Being the change.

I'm banned from buying new audiobooks this month, and instead have to wait for my freebie to arrive from audible on the 1st June. So, to fill the silence of my commute, I'm listening to "The Help", by Kathryn Stockett. Again! You can see a full review of this book here.

One of the themes of this book is change. It's about seemingly powerless people taking small, dangerous steps in order to change a few things about the attitudes of the world around them. This is where my thought of the day has come from.

If you could change one thing about the world in which we live, what would it be?

Would you outlaw money, invent some kind of amazing sustainable resource? Maybe you'd make yourself an evil dictator or give anyone magical powers?

I'd love to take the ideas you share here and give them to my Writers' Club for a session on dystopian utopias! So please, please share some thoughts!

Comment please!

Lx

Grimm Re-Imaginings

In my upper school writers' club this week, the team and I are going to be re-imagining fairy tales for an adult audience. We're going to take the Grimm tales and make them even more grim, so to speak. I'm hoping to post some of the work here after they've finished, but for now I'm hoping to inspire.

If YOU had to re-write a fairytale for an adult audience, what would you do? Would the big-bad-wolf in Little Red Ridinghood be an abusive father? Would Hansel and Gretel be so high on hallucinogens that they imagined a gingerbread house? Would Cindarella's prince have a weird foot fetish?

Take the dark tales of childhood and warp them to match the fears of adulthood. What do you get?

Lx

Writing A Story, A Sentence At A Time.

This is something that I’d really like people to get involved in. Line by line, I’d like my lovely followers to write a short, collaborative story. It can be silly and nonsensical if you like, just get involved! It’ll be a slow process as I have all of 11 followers so far (hey, it’s still early days!), but you can post more than once as long as you don’t post two sentences consecutively.
 Come on, all you brilliant inspired people! Get commenting!

 THE FIRST SENTENCE:

As soon as Jack awoke to the irksome beeping of his alarm clock, he knew it was going to be a bad day.

Anna

He could hear the rain beating against the window as he stared at the ceiling and fought the urge to hit the snooze button.

Phil

But then he realised that he smashed his alarm clock against the wall three mornings ago, and wondered what in the world this devilish new disturbance could be.

hopscotch85 

Suddenly afraid, he peeled back the duvet and edged his toes tentatively towards the floorboards.

lawi85

What the hell was that god-awful noise and where was it coming from?

Sheilz

Not to mention, that god awful smell?

Nick

Jack slowly shuffled across his room waking a little more with each steep until suddenly there was a roar outside his door and a bad day suddenly seemed to be getting a lot worse.

lawi85

When he reached out and opened his bedroom door, what he should have seen beyond was his upstairs landing; the ugly green carpet he’d not yet got around to changing; the black and white print of New York hanging on the wall; the window overlooking his unkempt front garden.

hopscotch85

Instead, he could not believe his eyes.

lawi85

It wasn’t his landing, wasn’t even his WORLD that he saw beyond the doorway.

Nick

He figured that he must still be dreaming, that was the only explanation for the impossible landscape which had somehow manifested itself in his usually rather dull hallway.

Anna

The noise that he had mistaken for his alarm clock still chimed across the barren landscape before him.

Sheilz

But there was no mistaking the smell.

lawi85

The thunderous odour of manure assaulted him along with the summer-sweet smell of sunshine and dry grass.

Nick

Vast planes of dry grassland stretched out to the horizon and Jack had to ask himself if he was really awake, or just insane.

Papa Bear

With the belief that insanity was the best option he took a step forward.

lawi85

That was all it took for Jack to lose everything he had, everything he knew: a single step.

Algernon

Dust started to surround him, swirling up in thick streams.

lawi85

As it brushed against the skin of his bare legs, Jack felt his skin prickle uncomfortably, as though he were being bitten by vicious insects.

Anna

Without hesitation, he walked forward, eager to see what this new world could bring.

lawi85

A warm rush of dusty air gusted at his back and he knew what had happened without having to turn around and check.

Algernon

His shadow stretched in front of him as the temperature began to rise.

lawi85

The door behind him was closed, just as he had known it would be, so he did all he could do and set out to see what this brave new world might hold.

Scamp, Peruser of the Tomes

As he walked, and breathed in the rich air of the grasslands he began to wonder.

Lucky Numbers.

What is your lucky number? Why?


Can you take your lucky number and write a piece in as many words?


For example, my lucky number is six so I shall write a six-word story!




All I have left is forever.




I'd love to see what y'all come up with!


Lx

Motto Madness!


Hakuna Matata ain't such a bad motto as far as they go, don't you think? No worries. It's a philosophy I need to adopt more often!

What I'm wondering today is what motto gets you through the day? What little clichés to you mutter to yourself to shrug the weights off your shoulders, and plough on through 'til you get to sit on your couch, put up your feet and crack open a cold one?

On the front page of this blog is another of the little quotes which I find inspiring. "You are pure potential", by Martin de Maat.  I like to remind the kiddies in my classes of this one, and they all seem to like it. Of course it also brings to mind the following physics joke:

My teacher told me I had a lot of potential... ...then he dropped me off the roof."

I thought this was hilarious when I heard it, but everyone I've shared it with has hung their heads and groaned as if they were in true physical anguish. 

Anyway! I am on a motto hunt. Help me out peeps!

Lx

The "Waste of Life" list!


There are some things in this world which just make you feel like the life is being sucked out of you by some kind of tedious leech. The following things (and, in future, I'm sure more will be added) make my "Waste of Life" list!
Ironing.

I just don't do it unless it is absolutely necessary. I can't stand ironing and think I would rather iron my face than face a pile of laundry a few times per week.

Emptying the dishwasher.

When I was a kid I dreamed of having a dishwasher. Dad always made the same joke: "We do have a dishwasher. It's you."

Now I'm all growed up and have a shiny dishwasher all of my own! :) But where I used to resent the whole process of washing dishes, I now resent the fact that my dishwasher doesn't have a button to put all of the dishes away in the cupboards!

Quorn.

Cardboard has more flavour. You know you want some nice crispy bacon, or maybe some fresh, juicy chicken. How about a succulent steak? Every mouthful of Quorn just makes me sad inside.

Non Alcoholic Beer.

WHY?!

Decaf.

See above.

Reality TV.

I have my own reality to take care of. Why the hell would I want to watch someone else make a prat of themselves in theirs? Yes it's fascinating that others seem to be able to live their lives with skin which is a perfect shade of satsuma, but not interesting enough for me to devote ANY time to watching...

"Fun Size" Sweets.

Where is the fun hiding, exactly?! Fun size sweets are SMALLER than the real thing. Surely it'd be more fun if they were 12x bigger than normalImagine a Curly Wurly which you could use as a ladder. That would be fun!

Think of it this way...if ever a guy were to describe his manly parts as "fun size", you know you would be in for an evening of anything but fun!


What makes YOUR "Waste of Life" list? Comments please! :)

Lx

If your life was turned into a movie, who would you want to play you?

This is a toughie! I decided on this question, thinking it would be a good one for "Hmmm...Wednesday" and now I am struggling to answer it myself.

I think this question has two parts: Who would you WANT to play you, and who would PROBABLY end up playing you?

My favourite actresses are all sort of old-school, like Sigourney Weaver and Kathy Bates, so I can't really choose them, can I? Can I? Hell, why not!

I just did one of those facial recognition things and it suggested Judy Garland, Katie Holmes or Holly Marie Coombes. Not bad, as I was expecting Jo Brand... :P

So! If your life was turned into a movie, who would you want to play you?

Share share share!

Lx